Blah

I am feeling very flustered today, and I am not sure how to describe how I feel. I first started my day off with waking up at 6 am, to find out that I was 30 minutes off from catching Jerry online. Then I realize I am late for work. I was totally not aware that it was Wednesday, and I was scheduled to work today. Good thing someone from work texted me to remind me. On my drive to work, I was just yelling at myself. I was 40 minutes late, what a great way to start the day. While I was at work, I find myself reflecting on all the things I have done this year. I have also reflected on myself, and also the people around me.

Throughout the years, I have learned that I don't really have many people I can call my "good friend." There are only a few I can count so far, and they complete me in different ways. I won't say who, but if they ever read this blog, they will know exactly who I am talking about. These people will always be the honest ones to me, telling me how it is. These people will be the ones that will listen to me, and give me a genuine shoulder to lean on. These people see right through my smile, and already know what's in my mind. I feel like I haven't really given them the proper thank you for being in my life, but I know one day I will get the chance to. 

Anyways,

Blogging has helped me get through this deployment so far. I can read back my thoughts and also see how far I have come.  I know this is only the second month since he left, but it already feels like forever and a day ago. For a year, I didn't go more than a month without seeing him, so I am hanging on to bare thread. I used to be able to how my day was, my thoughts and goals with him on the phone every night before I went to bed. I used to be able to call him on my break, or at least text him. I used to be able to just goto sleep to the comfort that he is safe, and wake up to know that he is still here. But now that he is not here, I really haven't had a "thought outlet." I find myself opening up to my mom more, but its just not the same. Times like right now, I just wish I can pick up my phone and give him a call. But the next best thing is to pick up the phone and scroll to the one voice message he left a week ago. I don't know when is the next time I will get to talk to him, and it is frustrating. There isn't much I can do but to wait until May. I will be one happy girl when I am finally in his arms again. I can't wait to move down there already <3

Home Sweet Home

;)

my godmother and i

my mom and i

@ the tao bistro

the city that never sleeps

rib eye, mmm

my folks

godparents <3

grilled mahi mahi

I'm finally home in the Bay Area! Man, I definitely feel like I have gained weight, but I had so much fun and quality time with my parents and Godparents. I truly feel blessed to have them in my life, really. They're the people I know where I can vent to how much I miss Jerry, and tell them 10000 stories and they won't make me feel like I'm annoying them. They are my backbone; they are completely honest and also always have my back. I remember growing up, we would all go on family trips together, mainly some where in nature. That's why I was surprised that we all decided to goto Las Vegas this time. I definitely got a lot of shopping done, and my wallet is not even THAT empty. I spent maybe $150 for $300 worth of clothes, so I don't feel that much at a loss.

After this trip, I know that I have gained my families trust, because they let me drive the car for the first time! For at least six hours in total, and I felt really good. I feel like I can finally contribute something to them. I don't know when we will do this again, and it won't probably be for a while. But, I do get to see them every day, and I won't take that for granted.

edit:: Jerry and I face-booked this morning, and what he said rings completely true to me too. I was nodding my head laughing, because I do the same thing at work/home.

8:37am

" i love you so much and miss you so much

i think baout you so much honey that at some points my dreams seem like reality

i think about yuo in the dreams

on post

walking on patrols

almost everting i do i some how relate it to you and just smile

people no shit loook at me like im crazy laughing out of no where smiling like i'm psycho"

That made my day <3

Merry Christmas

Christmas is here, and here I am blogging again. Today was one hell of a day for shopping, I bought SO MANY CLOTHES! I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't put off all these deals. $7 for a pair of shorts? I bought five. I'm pretty much ready for next summer, and there is much to look forward to. Christmas eve was first started off with waking up at 8 AM, eating homemade chicken noodles. Then, we were off to this super store called "bass pro." It is pretty much every fisherman's disneyland, I'm serious. They have everything you ever need for camping, fishing, etc.

my dad and i

me being silly

Then we all headed to the fashion outlet. I bought so many clothes there, its not even funny. It has actually been the most I've shopped this year, and I think I'll be set until next year.

Hoodie at Old Navy, where I can use the pull strings as headphones. Geeky or WHAT! 

My godfather and I, I got him to buy this hoodie too!

Then we all went to the Strip to go get some grub on. We parked at the Aria, and took the tram to Bellagio.

On our way there, we got bored :x

World guinness: worlds biggest chocolate fountain, with REAL chocolate.

I would also call this the fountain of diabetes.

Thinking about you, Jerry<3

They had this @ the Bellagio, they sure went ALL out

Water Show at the Bellagio

And we wrapped up the night by just walking around, enjoying the crowds of people, lights, and the ringing sounds at the Casino. Jerry and I were on Facebook for a good hour, exchanging messages back a  forth.  My battery was also running low, good thing I brought my handy dandy charger

                                          

I am a creeper for screenshotting our conversations, but it gets me through

I knocked out in the car, and didn't want to get out when we parked. It was so nice and cozy in the back of the car. We got back to the place and started to disperse our holiday shopping items. I'm so excited to wear all my new clothes when I get back! Well, when it is hot that is. On that note, merry Christmas to you all! 

Edit::

We were skyping again this morning for an hour +! He said he'll call me again soon after his buddies are able to talk to their loved ones back here in the states. I guess Santa heard me out, thanks for keeping him safe.


                                   

I don't have him here next to me this Christmas but I'll always have his heart ♥

I am finally here in Vegas! It was one hell of a drive, but it was fun when my family with me. Driving down the highway 5 brought back so many flashbacks of when I drove down myself to see Jerry before he deployed. I must say, of all the things I've done so far in my life, this is something I know that was the right thing to do and I will NEVER regret. The week before he left, I had this daunting feeling inside me that kept growing. I knew something wasn't right, the fact that he was going to leave the country and I was going to sleep comfortably in my bed. It was hard seeing him leave, but it was harder knowing that nothing is ever certain out there.



Like my previous posts, I got to talk to him again this morning for a whole hour! ^^ ( I got cut off at 41 minutes but he called again ) I cannot explain the feeling of the moment he calls, my nerves tense up and my endorphins just release in great amounts. When we talk, I am always careful of what I say or ask, and to always be grateful to hear his voice. What he tells me stays with me, and never gets shared with anyone else. I promise to always be the lady he can depend on, and to hold it down even when I know things are going bad. I won't ever judge him, and he is always my hero.

 I accept the fact that he is a Marine, and his career has made him a very tough man, but I know that deep inside he is one of the sweetest guys I have met. I have also learned how to be tough myself,  to know that we will never be "the normal couple" that has friday date nights and is able to see or even call each other every day. I accept the fact that his career comes first, but I am always his first lady. I know that through all this military craziness and things that are going on in the world, we will make it through. I know that once he gets out of the Marine Corp, we will have the rest of our lives to spend with each other. But for now, I will support him every way I can.

I know he loves me back, because he lets me know. We can't really do much together, since we're  6,000+ miles away. But it has made me appreciate the little things, and to laugh at the stupid shit I got mad at him for. Even a little text can brighten up my day, and in this case, it has brightened up my holiday this year. It just sucks to know that he cannot spend Christmas warm with family and friends, fattening foods, karaoke, and to be with me under the Christmas Tree. I keep looking at the picture of us when we spent our first Christmas together, it was definitely amazing and unforgettable. It was the first time I really told him how worried and sad I was going to be when he deployed, and the first time I cried to him because of this overwhelming feeling I always hide. I know his family also misses him very much, and especially his parents. I can only imagine how it feels to have your only son go fight in some war in a foreign country. His dad is probably one of the most emotional guy I've seen, and he has a lot of heart. His mom is one of the most hardest working woman and toughest woman I've encountered. I hope they're holding up fine, I think I may just go see them next week.






Reading his letters has helped me cope when I feel the lowest. It brings up my spirits, and his words really touch me even if I have read it twenty times. I bring it everywhere I go.
  Creepy much?

Well, its getting kind of late, or should I say "early." I got myself a little Christmas present, and its something I've said I've been wanting to do. WORK OUT! Socks, Shoes, Spandex, and an Exercise band. This sounds crazy but I want to get down to 120 by May. Thats dropping those stubborn fifteen pounds that have lingered for three years. I will start on January 2nd, doing the p90x all the way. It will be done, and I won't blow it off this time.

Now about changing my diet...
This is going to be a tough one!




Good night, and good morning Jerry. I love you ♥ 

P.S. He is always on my mind, even when I'm at the grocery store. He definitely has a sweet tooth, and love for taro and tapioca. Therefore, he is going to get it MRE style! Haha!! This is going into care package #11 that will be shipped out next Friday. <3

Getting ready for Vegas!!

It is finally over! and I am very excited to say that my little Christmas break has officially begun! Its off to a great start, because Jerry has web-cammed with me for two hours . Later on, he even left a voice message and go on facebook for a couple of minutes. I was only one minute off from chatting with him online, because I was taking a nap. After finding out, I couldn't fall back asleep. Maybe theres a voice inside my head that told me that if I stayed up he will be online. I did that until 3 am, and no sign. I had to goto work at 6 am this morning, but I was fine. (until 12 pm, I felt like crashing!!) It is weird, because I did not feel as tired as I thought I would be. I even ran over to burger king (my guilty pleasure) and ordered an ice coffee with tater tots. I felt like my insides were drenched in oil and sugar, but it has definitely hit the spot.

Anyways, today was supposed to be my hangout date with Alexandra, Jerry's brothers girlfriend. But, I had to back out because my mom, like always, tells me last minute that there is this family dinner that will happen tonight. I was kind of pissed, because this isn't the first time that has happened. But I learned to accept the fact that she is my mother, and I have to work my schedule around that sometimes. I still plan on seeing Alex before she flies back to North Carolina on January 2nd.

sealed with a kiss

I stopped by the post office to send a care package to Jerry. Sending these care packages has truly been a very therapeutic process for me and it feels really good to know that the stuff will be in his presence within a mater of two weeks. In this package, I packed him some heavy duty socks, letters and envelopes, notebook, boot dryer (this little machine that helps the drying process of the boots) Sriracha sauce, some candies, slim jims, lotion, lychee jello cups, taco seasoning mix, and a little more stuff that isn't coming to my head now.

He Called !!!

So back to the dinner, I was very happy to see that my grandmother made some "tong yune," which is basically a sticky rice ball soup, or what I like to call mochi soup. It has pork, carrots, fish cake, mushroom, sticky glutinous balls, and a broth. The little balls are so fun to eat, because they're so chewy and sticky. They are supposed to represent the "togetherness" one family should have. All I know is that it is really delicious, and I would need to snag that recipe from my grandma one day. Oh, we also had hot pot, one of our families favorites.  I love spending time with my family.  
 During the middle of dinner, I received a pleasant surprise, a call from jerry! He decided to just tell me good morning (over on his time) but we didn't talk that long. To be precise, it was 2 minutes and 35 seconds. It brings me so much relief to just simply hear his voice. I can only imagine the day when he comes back, I will definitely lose it!

 P.S. It was Mikes birthday at work today, hooray!

One more day

I can't wait to just goto work tomorrow and be over with it. Christmas is only four days away, yet I don't feel it. You know that warm feeling people should get while there are company over for food fun and drinks, I will be celebrating it with my parents and godparents in Las Vegas. The drive would not be too bad, roughly around 7-8 hours. I've been through 8 hour drives more than several times this year, and it isn't too bad at all. The only thing I am dreading is the idea of traveling without going to see Jerry. Ever since last September, I've been traveling long distance to see him and only him. I had fun every time, and I cannot wait to do that again.

Well actually, I don't even know if I would do that again, because I have decided to move down to Irvine. I was on craigslist just earlier checking out apartments, and they are so expensive. The cheapest one I found was %690, and it was pretty decent. But the downside is that there is a high possibility for me to share an apartment with someone else. I am going to be honest, this is kind of scary for me. I have never moved out before, and I am scared that I will get home sick and too caught up in work. Ah, one day at a time.

Won't life be great if I just looked cute and napped all day?

out and about

Yesterday, I went to go visit one of the 2/1 girls I met on the Facebook group, and her name is Norma. She was a very sweet woman, and I got to share stories, emotions, and how much we missed our significant other. We stopped by build a bear workshop, and I decided to build Jerry a bear. It was my first time building a bear, and it was pretty cool. Yes, I did the whole stuffing the bear/kissing the heart/inserting my own voice/ wishing a wish before sewing it up process. It was somewhat childish, but hey, it sure brought a smile on my face. I dressed it up in the Giants outfit, because the first baseball game experience I had was with Jerry, and it was for the giants game (vs. the phillies) I'm not much of a sports fanatic (and so is he) but the fact that the won world champion has convinced me to get it. The bears name is Boba, and I can't decide whether it is a boy or girl. What I am going to do is to send the bear over there, and to keep the bears hat on my bed. Therefore, we'll both have a part of Boba. This distance- love thing got me doing these cheesy things.

Afterwards, I stopped by Ashley's house (Jerrys Cousins) to drop off her umbrella and to just kick it. She made some really delicious home made crepes. Check it out! Om NomNomNom worthy! I just ate it really quickly, she really has a talent to make desserts. It was a good day.

At LAST

            We have finally web-cammed for the second time of this deployment! This was a very exciting moment! He  just shaved his hair today. I love being silly with him even when we're 6000+ miles apart. The first call he made was 10:55 when I was shampooing my hair in the shower. It was such perfect timing. He called me back at 11:38 and we talked until 12:17 am. Every second was totally awesome. This has totally made my weekend, despite all the cold customers I got today. (well, technically yesterday) Alright, I'm off to bed! Work in five hours, and I'm going to be so damned tired! Good night, world!

Exciting news

I like to screenshot our conversation logs. <3

Today was a good day. Jerry has called me at 1:18, and we talked on the phone for 7 minutes and 23 seconds.  I was at the check stand when he called me, and one of my coworkers was walking passed me. I looked at him and said, Anthony, I need to answer this call. *puppy eyes* He already knows what situation I was in, so he kindly helped me work my register for those awesome seven minutes. It meant so much to me to hear his voice again. I had my ups and downs this week, and I'm not going to lie, I felt more down than up. Hopefully, that will change once when I go  on my family trip to Las Vegas from the 23rd-27th! It is not ideal to spend family time there, but family time is family time. Back to what I was talking about, It was nice to hear his voice because it gave me a sense of security, hope, and pride. He said everything was okay, and he is actually finished three books since he left. He is also keeping his thoughts on the journal he has, and I am planning to send him another journal so he can write as much as he can. I am putting together another care package for him, and I will be shipping it out either on monday or tuesday. I love sending him stuff, and I will start taking pictures of the boxes before I send it out, so I will remember it forever! He has already received package #3 and #4, and he will receive #5-9 sometime next week I hope.


Another good exciting piece of news is that one of my best girlfriends back in highschool just had her baby, his name is Dante Daniel Zuniga. He is the cutest little monster ever! Weighing 10 lb 7 oz born on December 15th, 2010. I wish him a healthy and happy life, the two things that should never be taken for granted. I can't believe so much has happened within these past few years, and I'm loving it.

Meet Dante.

what are you starin' at?
i ain't a mirror!

Balloons, YAY

On that note, I will shower and hit the sheets. Hoping Jerry will call me sometime 11pm -2 am. I got work at 6 am tomorrow, I am excited to go back to this "normal" schedule. It forces me to goto sleep earlier, and to get more things accomplished faster.

edit::

Here are some pictures of me and Yasmin back in high school:

<3

Graduation!

Being silly

edit again @ 11:28 PM: Just when I hopped in the shower, with shampoo in my hair, he called. I was thinking in my head: what if he called like...right...now?! and then he really did call! I answered the phone and told him I was in the shower, and he said he will be calling back soon. I hope soon is happening any minute now!